Loneliness and the New Mummy

Loneliness and the New Mummy

This is a hard thing to write about. I don’t want to sound ungrateful. Those of you that have followed the blog for a while will know that Bump is my rainbow baby. We are so grateful that Bump arrived after we had a really upsetting 2016 when I lost our baby. But I am going to say this…..being a new mum is lonely.

In the early days there is so much to enjoy. All those around you are genuinely excited and happy for you. You have the excitement of the first smile, the first gurgle, the first mega poo (well maybe not but you get my drift).

The loneliness

Then it hits you. You just feel alone. Desperately alone. It hit me one morning at about 2.30am. A silly time for it to happen given that my husband was sleeping next to me as I fed Bump. But it did hit me then. The following day my husband went off to work and hit me again but even harder. It was just me and my beautiful Bump, that little person that I so craved after my miscarriage, but I just felt alone, so awfully alone.

That first day of loneliness is the day when my Antenatal Class Family {click here to read my post on them} were a huge support to me. They made me laugh and not feel so alone. They were all so understanding and made me realise that I wasn’t the only new Mum who had felt alone.

teddy

Night feeds

However, despite the support from my ACF, it hasn’t stopped the loneliness. The worst time of day I find is the night feeds. My husband has said on many occasions, ‘wake me up in the night if it’s getting a bit much’, but in all honesty what can he do? So I have sat there some nights with tears running down my face doubting myself and wondering what on earth I was thinking when I suggested starting a family.

I have a lot of admiration for those women (or men) who are doing this on their own. I have mentioned before how grateful I am to see W at the end of the day. Now that I can get out and about more my ACF have really come into their own. The classes I have signed up to also break up the day and give you some adult interaction.

Getting out and about

It is daunting having a newborn in your life. It is a real shock to the system. But my advice to any new mummies out there is to get out and do things. There are so many great things organised in the local community for mums {click here for some suggestion from Mother&Baby magazine}. There is even a fantastic app to help mums meet up {see here}. GP’s are also excellent, so if you do find yourself feeling down, pick up the phone and get along to the GP {or see here for support networks in your local area}. They will be a great help.

Granted I am only at week ten, I know there will be more lonely days but it does get easier.  Not every day is fantastic but the fantastic days do outweigh the not so fantastic days.

So mums if you ever find yourself upset and lonely. Just look at your little one and take a reality check. You are doing this. What you have done is amazing. You are awesome. Please don’t suffer in silence. Pick up the phone and speak to someone, doing something about it is often the hardest step. You will feel great for speaking, I promise.

Did you find being a new mummy lonely? If you did, what did you do to overcome it? Did you go to any organised groups or did you speak to your GP?  I would love to hear from you by commenting below. As always, please don’t forget to start following us on Facebook, Instagram and Bloglovin

Penny x

Disclosure: Elements of this blog were originally posted on the Mummy & Little Me blog as part of the Birth of a Mummy and Mummy & Little Me partnership. Whilst I am receiving payment from Mummy & Little Me they leave it up to me to decide what I blog about and do not have any editorial impact on my posts.

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