The Two Week Update
Clearly, My Pregnancy Journal, will be no more. Well not until number two is cooking (I can’t believe I have just entertained the idea of a second one already!). Today then, sees the launch of a new chapter in BOAM’s little life, we start the Life With Bump series. Initially I am planning on doing a fortnightly update but as he gets older and I inevitably get busier, I will probably push it out to monthly.
Where has the time gone? Bump has been with us for two weeks! In some ways the time has flown past, in other ways being in hospital seems years ago. At bang on exactly two weeks, so 5.50am this morning, I was climbing back into bed following the third feed and change of the night and wondering where the last two weeks had gone!
Ok enough of the chat, shall we get down to the nitty gritty of the post?
Life With Bump for Mummy:
I can say this categorically. No matter what people tell you, no matter how many antenatal classes you attend, no matter how many apps you download, no matter how many bits of advice you take from family members nothing is ever going to prepare you for that moment when the reality of being a family hits you.
It won’t hit you in the hospital, it won’t even hit when you first walk in the door after returning from the hospital. Nope it will blindside you, probably in the middle of the night when you are sat in the nursery exhausted feeding your everything. You find yourself worrying about the silliest of things and then crying for no reason! Yes, that was me two nights ago. The reality just hit me. This horrid feeling of not being a good enough Mummy ran through me. It knocked me for six. I won’t lie.
I have come to the conclusion that anyone who intimates that they have taken to motherhood like a duck to water is quite frankly lying. All my mummy friends, whether that be other bloggers or local friends, have commented that they have experienced that ‘oh sh*t’ moment on more than one occasion. So phew I am not the only one. W and I spoke about how I felt and I discussed it with the health visitor. I now see why postnatal depression and, perhaps more importantly perinatal anxiety, is so hotly discussed at antenatal classes. On the whole though, reality check aside, mentally I am fine and I feel lots better for chatting it through. Sure anxiety comes and goes but I am doing fine.
I need to get this off my chest. I am not quite sure why our perception is that having an elective c-section by choice is easier than giving birth vaginally. Granted I haven’t (yet) given birth via the traditional route but my understanding was than an elective c-section by choice was the “easy” way out. The recovery from elective and emergency c-sections must be the same, right? Well presuming they are, I think I would take a vaginal birth any day.
The C-section has hit me hard. The scar is heeling nicely according to the midwives but, boy oh boy, I have found the recovery hard. Maybe I am just a wimp but the surgery has really taken it out of me. I don’t like being reliant on people. Calling the midwives every two minutes the first couple of days after surgery was fine but now two weeks on it is getting very frustrating to keep asking for help. I am not bed bound by any stretch of the imagination, I am however finding it hard to be on my feet for a long period of time.
The best news is that I can now actually sit on the loo. I was over the moon. Anyone who has tried to hover over a loo when attempting to go knows how hard it is. It only took 10 bloody days! The second bit of good news is that I have finished my blood thinning injections and the yellow box has been returned to the doctors.
My feet are slowly coming down to their normal size. That is something that I also wasn’t expecting. Swollen feet postpartum. I had a little win yesterday when I managed to slip on a pair of shoes that I haven’t been able to wear for months. All in all, things are progressing the right way.
I have covered milk in the update below. I just wanted to say, however, that my boobs still haven’t become engorged. We are all unique. I just clearly take a bit longer than Jo Public to become engorged!
Monday is a big day for Bump and I. Daddy goes back to work. I don’t want to get all soppy online but he has been amazing. I have been hugely reliant on him, more so I think due to the c-section recovery.
People who know me, will not be surprised to learn that I am not the best patient. I find it really hard. Accepting I can’t do as much as I want has been bloody difficult for me. So in a way, whilst it will be odd not to have W around on Monday, I am looking forward to the normality and perhaps, within reason, doing more.
People who think they know W might be surprised to learn he has managed to keep the house ticking over! I wasn’t surprised at all, I knew he would go above and beyond. I think a lot of our friends think he takes a back seat at home but that couldn’t be further from the truth. Sure he doesn’t do the hoovering all the time but he keeps the house ticking along with me. These last two weeks however he has been fantastic.
Life With Bump:
As you all know, Bump is our rainbow baby. Following my miscarriage last year, I was in a very dark place. I longed for a baby so much but it just wasn’t working. I am so grateful that he is here now. All safe and sound. He is gorgeous and perfect to us. Despite being blindsided by emotion earlier this week, there is nothing like having a newborn baby. It is quite amazing. So how has he been?
Weight Loss: Weight Gain
All babies lose weight after birth. It is, apparently, to do with fluid loss and the fact that at birth babies have small stomachs. This means they can’t take enough milk to replace the lost fluid. Bump’s weight loss has caused a few issues.
Bump was 8lb 3oz when he was born. A good weight. By day 5 and his midwife check up, the weight loss was more than 12% of his birth weight. Clearly my milk was not really working. I had been warned in hospital that my milk may take longer to come through due to the trauma of having a caesearn section (yep, I didn’t realise this could be the case either). However, the midwife was not happy. If I am brutally honest, the midwife who visited wasn’t our usual midwife, in fact we had never seen her before. Her delivery was probably not the best. I get that everyone is different, heck I am not the most chatty of people and can appear quite aloof, but her bedside manner was pretty shocking. No explanation, no reassurance just a “his weight loss is over 12%, top up with formula from today”. That was literally it.
So off W rushed to Tesco to buy formula, out came the Avent steriliser kit and we began trying to bump (!) up Bump’s calorie intake.
Being frank, I was devastated. I felt like I had done something wrong. However, thanks to the support of friends and family I have got my mind round it. I am not a failure. Bump needed extra calories. My milk was taking its time to arrive. I am still a Mummy and the main thing is that Bump is gaining weight.
By the next midwife appointment, and the discharge one three days later, Bump was back up to weight. I felt so relieved. I really did. No doubt my breast feeding worries were part of the reason I was blindsided by emotion the other night.
The sleep is going well. I really don’t want to talk about it too much as I feel like we might be tempting fate. So far, so good. We are trying to get Bump into some sort of routine. I doubt it means anything to him but it makes us feel better.
Our set up is this. The Moses basket (which was a tenner!) lives in our bedroom full time, mainly because it is a royal pain in the bum to move it up and down the stairs. Bump has a Baby Bjorn bouncer (mixed results so far using it) and a little baby gym in the lounge. We are changing him every night into “pyjamas”. Any day now we should receive a baby box and that will be used in the lounge for day time sleeping.
With W going back to work next week, we will change our routine slightly I think. Currently we are waking twice in the night, once around 3am and again at around 6am. So he is sleeping for around 4-5hours in the first stint and 3 for the second. Not bad, I don’t think. With W being back at work, 6am will actually be our get up time. However, we will be heading to bed earlier so maybe we will still get two wake ups a night. Who knows.
The big test will be when we head off to America in a month or so. I wonder if his routine will be all over the place on our return?
The Tiddler Tracker
Linking in nicely to my little chat about sleep and feeding is the Tiddler Tracker. It has been a lifesaver! I found this via someone on Instagram. A husband and wife team have set the business up and invested a lot of time and effort. It is a brilliant little book, which will be a keepsake one day, that allows you to track the feeds, poos etc. of your baby. So much easier than apps on your phone. It is great when the health visitor or midwife arrives and asks lots of questions about feeding routine!
I am slightly obsessive with routine and everything going to plan. The tracker therefore, at first glance, might not be best for me! I like the idea of keeping track but I do worry when things aren’t as they were the day before. Sure no two days are the same. We seem to go through days of feeding little and often and then other days of mammoth feeds. Nothing to worry about I am sure, he is happy and not crying all the time, but I just thought I would say. Did any of you find your children were like that? Is it normal?
The Tiddler Tracker though has been great. I am hoping to reach out to them and see if BOAM can do something with them going forward, so watch this space.
And that my lovelies is the two week update. I would love to hear from you all about how you got on in the initial days after birth. Are my worries normal? Did any of you struggle to produce milk? Have you had both a C-Section and vaginal birth? Do let me know. Please don’t forget to follow me on Instagram and subscribe to our Facebook page.